Ontario Man Hospitalized After Criticizing Justin Trudeau

Cambridge, ON

An Ontario man has been hospitalized with an “irreparably” sprained index finger after incessantly scrolling through his Facebook feed and pressing the angry emoji each time he came across the name Justin Trudeau.

Peter Tomlinson, a welder from Cambridge and ardent Conservative Party supporter, joined Facebook only two years ago but according to doctors has an unhealthy obsession with the Prime Minister.

“We’ve seen a growing number of index finger injuries since Mr. Trudeau was elected, but Mr. Tomlinson’s is by far the worst,” said Dr. Sanjay Jakarla of Kitchener’s Grand River Hospital. “Apparently it started on election night, but has continued every day since. It seems to affect approximately 45% of grown men who also have an aversion to Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne.”

According to Jakarla, another growing problem is the inability for grown men to correctly pronounce the surname of the Prime Minister. “We’re hearing Turdeau and Trudope the most, so speech therapists have also been brought in."

When reached by The Sentinel Dispatch, Tomlinson said he would revert to using his middle finger to ignorantly insult the Prime Minister via social media.


From Our Waterloo Region Bureau