Eyewitnesses: Santa Claus Shot Down Over Eastern Ukraine

Kyiv - Dreams of a peaceful and happy Christmas for the embattled eastern region of Ukraine were dashed early Thursday morning, when, according to several eyewitnesses, Santa Claus and his sleigh were shot down outside of the city of Torez in the province of Donetsk Oblast.

According to Ukrainian media, at approximately 1:40 a.m. Donetsk time, as Santa - or Ded Moroz as Ukrainians call him - was making haste over the troubled Ukrainian/Russian border, the deliverer of toys and dreams was "blown out of the sky."

Last known photo of Ded Moroz & Snegurochka

Eyewitnesses report a low-flying object of unknown origin traveling above Torez approximately 10 minutes before the crash. "I had stepped outside to enjoy a glass of Peperivka (a traditional Ukrainian holiday beverage which involves spicing vodka, whiskey or bourbon with peppers), and to my astonishment, I heard the faint sound of sleigh bells in the sky. I looked to the east and could make out a reddish looking sleigh, led by what appeared to be reindeer," said factory worker Vadim Tkachenko, 54. "A few minutes later, I heard sirens go off, and my cousin who lives on the outside of town called me and told me that he had witnessed an explosion over the property adjacent to his." When reached for comment, the 66 year old retiree told The Sentinel Dispatch that "all of a sudden there was rocket fire, followed by a blast in the sky, which sent pieces of red and green debris falling from the sky," said Kostya Moroz.

The devastating news comes only months after Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 was shot down over the same area on July 17th, killing all 298 passengers and crew. At the time, Ukrainian forces, and the central government in Kyiv blamed pro-Russian militants, and early reports suggest they are also to blame for the death of Ded Moroz, or Grandfather Frost, as he is known in Ukraine. Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko confirmed in a conference call that there was evidence of Buk surface-to-air missile fire in the area at the time.

The news is particularly difficult for the children of the embattled region, who, as confirmed by Poroshenko, "have been so good this year." In the Ukrainian tradition, Ded Moroz is said to bring presents to children. However, unlike the secretive Santa Claus, the gifts are often delivered "in person" at celebrations held this time of year. The visits usually occur at organized celebrations at kindergartens or schools and at circus performances, and various agencies organize Ded Moroz visits to families and offices.

Reports from Kyiv confirm that there were no survivors. Among the dead are Ded Moroz's granddaughter and helper Snegurochka - or Snow Maiden - and each of the eight reindeer. While Kyiv and Moscow have come out blaming one other for the mishap, each are deploying grief counselors to the region for dismayed children.

From Our Kyiv Bureau

BREAKING: New Woman Comes Forward, Alleges Cosby Never Assaulted Her

Albany, New York - In a stunning admission disclosed Friday to a Sentinel Dispatch columnist, a 56 year old New York dentist has become the first woman to come forward to allege that she has never been assaulted by 77 year old disgraced comic Bill Cosby.

In recent weeks, the former star of The Cosby Show and the voice of Fat Albert has been accused of assaulting several women over a decades-long span. Cosby is counter-suing the most recent accuser, Judith Huth, who claims that in 1974 at the age of 15, Cosby gave her alcohol and forced her to perform a sex act on him while at the Playboy Mansion. Representatives for Mr. Cosby, when contacted by The Sentinel Dispatch, say that Ms. Huth tried to extort $250,000 from his client, offering to withdraw her claims if he paid the money.

To date, "America's Dad" has been accused of assaulting over a dozen women, usually drugging them in the process. Insiders in the entertainment industry and on the comedy circuit specifically say that this is no surprise and that the public should expect more accusations in the near future. "With each new day it seems there is a new accuser," said one west coast comedy club owner, on condition of anonymity.

However, in today's surprise announcement, 56 year old Dina Gratham dropped a bombshell when she claimed that over the course of meeting Mr. Cosby "at least 5 or 6 times" in the 1980's, he "never even looked at me inappropriately." Mrs. Gratham first met Cosby when he was about to perform at a comedy club in Albany and required an emergency root canal the day before his show. "I remember him coming into the office, and he was very polite and down-to-earth, and very funny, as I expected he would be." Grantham continued, "I had of course heard the rumours of his sexual escapades - who hadn't - but he turned out to be nothing but a gentleman with me and my other female co-workers."

Asked why it took her so long to come forward with her allegations of propriety and decency against Cosby, Mrs. Gratham responded "I didn't think anyone would believe me. I mean, Bill Cosby, the guy who always kept 'cold and flu' pills in his pocket and offered personal advise to pretty much any young woman who would listen? Honestly, who would believe my story?"

Mrs. Gratham has now given a full report of her encounters with Mr. Cosby to local police. "I would hope that other women would come forward, but I highly doubt that there are any with a similar story."

From Our New York Bureau

9 Year Old California Boy Suspended For Saying "Merry Christmas"

Sacramento, CA - When 9 year old Spencer Morgan was dropped off at Westvale Elementary School on Monday, the Transformers and Hunger Games enthusiast had no idea that his name would soon be synonymous with political-correctness run amok.

Similar to many children this time of year, Spencer's excitement has been building leading up to Christmas morning on December 25th. However, on Monday, he made what was apparently a terrible mistake. Spencer offered the "wrong greeting, to the wrong person, at the wrong time," according to principal Wendy Cordson.

"Spencer is an exceptional student and has been ever since he began attending Westvale 3 years ago," said Cordson when reached by The Sentinel Dispatch by Skype. "However, on Monday, Spencer clearly broke our code of conduct that we impose this time of year, by wishing several of his classmates a Merry Christmas."

Since 2004, Westvale Elementary has had an explicit code of "holiday conduct" wherein each student is expected to refrain from offering one another "any type of holiday greeting, lest it offend a student of another religion, or no religion at all." In the past 10 years, 4 other students have been reprimanded by the school; Spencer is only the latest.

According to Spencer's father Bradley, Spencer was sent home with a note, informing him that his child had inadvertently wished a Muslim classmate a "Merry Christmas," to which the unnamed classmate took great offence. The subsequent punishment is that Spencer has received a two-week suspension from classes - which effectively means that he will not return until 2018 - and forced to remove festive decorations which he had placed on the inside of his locker. "Westvale does not allow any visible or verbal signs of any of the religious holidays this time of year, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa."

In addition, the basketball enthusiast will be required to undergo 5 days of sensitivity training before returning to the school in the new year.

Bradley and Kim Spencer are considering their legal options as of press time.

From Our Los Angeles Bureau