Wednesday 11 November 2015

Baptist Churches In South To Boycott Starbucks Due To Dark Roast Coffee



Montgomery, Alabama

Only days after renowned religious historian Joshua Feuerstein created a firestorm by suggesting on YouTube that coffee giant Starbucks was suppressing the spirit of Christmas through its bland 2017 Christmas cups, a growing number of Baptist churches in the southern states are taking up his call for a boycott for even more controversial reasons.

On November 5th, Feuerstein, whose website lists his accomplishments such as being the subject of a recent BBC Trending episode and being a host or guest on television and syndicated radio talk shows such as TBN, said in his minute and a half viral video that "Do you realize that Starbucks wanted to take Christ and Christmas off of their brand new cups? In fact, do you know that Starbucks isn't allowed to say Merry Christmas to their customers?"

The Sentinel Dispatch has learned that an independent Baptist denomination in the southern states has gone further and has decided to boycott Starbucks for serving what it has deemed "black-supremacist coffee."

In an interview via Skype on Wednesday morning, Pastor Bryan Larkin, president of the Independent Southern Baptist Brotherhood of Churches, which boasts 42 congregations in Alabama, Mississippi, Kentucky, and South Carolina, told The Sentinel Dispatch that his members are set to implement a boycott of the coffee behemoth because of its darker roast coffees. "There used to be a time when coffee was coffee," said the 46 year old private school principal. "It really has been a slippery slope. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that our colored folk need jobs, but when they start influencing and controlling our coffee choices, that's where myself and many other Christians draw the line."

Larkin and other board members of the ISBBC have sent out instructions to its church members to boycott all Starbucks locations. "We had no problem when Starbucks only featured their milder Veranda Blend or even their Breakfast Blend and Pike Place Roast," said Larkin. "But when they introduced their Caffè Verona and Sumatra blends, it was crystal clear that they were promoting a black agenda. I mean, all the cream and sugar in the world can't overcome the darkness and bitterness of those coffees."

This Sunday, November 12th, inserts will be placed in all bulletins of Independent Southern Baptist Brotherhood of Churches congregations, instructing its members to choose Dunkin' Donuts or McDonald's coffee instead.

From Our Montgomery Bureau

2 comments:

Stewart Vriesinga: said...

This is satire, isn't it? Please tell me it's satire!

Stewart Vriesinga: said...

This is satire, isn't it? Please tell me it's satire!