Friday 14 June 2019

BREAKING: Sarah Sanders Accepts "Less Racist" Job With KKK



Washington, D.C.

Merely one day after announcing her forthcoming departure as White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders informed news outlets on Friday that she will not be unemployed for long.

Sanders, a polarizing figure in Washington as a chief supporter of President Donald Trump, had not held a White House press briefing in a record 95 days.

On Thursday, Mr. Trump hailed Sanders as  a "warrior" and overtly stated that he hoped she would follower in her father Mike's footsteps and run for Arkansas governor.

However, it seems as if the 36 year old has another job in mind. In a media release obtained by The Sentinel Dispatch on Friday afternoon, Sanders announced that, beginning in August, she will take the helm as the official spokeswoman of the resurgent Ku Klux Klan.

"I was approached by (Grand Wizard) Joseph Hannison back in March of this year, and his offer was one that I couldn't refuse," said Sanders, who eventually succeeded Sean Spicer at the White House. "While I will forever be indebted to President Trump, I felt that at this point in my life I needed to step away and instead become part of a slightly less racist organization. The Klan has a proud history which has been distorted by the fake news media throughout history, and I look forward to rectifying that situation."

While the Ku Klux Klan once boasted a membership of 6,000,000 people in 1924-25 during its second iteration, it is estimated that current membership is now between 5 and 8 thousand people, mostly Caucasian. Sanders said she hopes to buoy its image after "the unfortunate misinterpretation of the events in Charlottesville" in 2017. "These are decent, hardworking men and women who only want to make America great again. The reporting of their anti-Jew and anti-black meetings is largely misconstrued. I'll pull back the veil, or sheet if you will, on the true meaning of the Klan, and show it in its true light, while not white-washing it at the same time."

Sanders will make her exit from the White House by the end of June.

From Our Washington Bureau


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