Sunday 11 March 2018

Doug Ford Promises Wall Between Etobicoke, Rest Of Toronto


Toronto, ON

Merely hours after taking the reins of Ontario's Progressive Conservative Party, newly minted leader Doug Ford made a major policy announcement at a hastily arranged news conference on Sunday evening.

Ford, 53, was victorious over main rival Christine Elliott on the final ballot of contention. After initially contesting the results, Ms. Elliott earlier on Sunday pledged her support of Ford.

However, the divisive new leader raised eyebrows Sunday evening when he announced that part of his plan for Ontario, should he be elected Premier, is to build a wall between his home base of Etobicoke and the rest of the city of Toronto.

"I am proud to be the one taking this party into the upcoming election to defeat Kathleen Wynne, but we have to be careful not to become too progressive." Erecting a wall along the border of Etobicoke and the rest of Toronto will make sure that all these Toronto liberals will be kept out of our staunchly conservative area."

Estimates on the cost of such a wall range from $5 billion to $10 billion dollars. Asked how Ontario could afford such an undertaking, the leader said, "We will build the wall and the elites and the rest of Toronto will pay for it. This will also keep drugs from entering my beloved home of Etobicoke."

From Our Toronto Bureau

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