Tuesday 6 February 2018

Green Party Leader Resigns After Family Fails To Recognize Him

File photo believed to be former Green Party of Ontario
Leader Mike Schreiner
Guelph, ON

The Green Party of Ontario is looking for a new leader after its former helmsman failed to gain traction even among his closest friends and family.

Mike Schreiner, leader of the environmentally-conscious party since 2009, announced his resignation on Tuesday at a press conference attended by a handful of high school students who gladly partook of the provided sandwiches and Coca-Cola.

Schreiner, 48, represented the Green Party in one by-election and two provincial general elections, losing all three times.

Holding back tears, Schreiner, a Kansas native, recalled the moment when he knew he had to make a change. "Over the last few years, fewer and fewer of my friends were calling me or even making eye contact on the street. It all came to a head, though, this past weekend when I walked into my house in Guelph, and my wife Sandy and my two daughters didn't even recognize me." Guelph Police confirmed to The Sentinel Dispatch that they received a 911 call on Sunday saying there was a "strange man wandering around (the homeowner's) kitchen, making himself at home."

Schreiner is temporarily living at the Days Inn in Guelph under the pseudonym Mike Schreiner, so as to not be bothered by the press.

From Our Guelph Bureau

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