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| The Lord has sent his last friend request, to the dismay of his billions of Facebook friends. |
A spokesman for Jesus Christ has confirmed to The Sentinel Dispatch that the Lord has abruptly deactivated his Facebook account after facing an existential crisis on the social media platform.
Rev. Tom Polk of Boise said that the Messiah has reluctantly quit Facebook after receiving “countless” messages and memes that exhorted him to “Like and Share if you love Jesus.”
“The King of Kings was faced with a major dilemma,” said Rev. Polk. “Was he supposed to share the memes and thus appear to be vainly loving himself, or was he not supposed to share them and risk going to Hell, which is where non-sharers of these posts inevitably go?”
Christ, who is a 2000 year old Middle Eastern man but forever appears to be a 33-year-old American, will be missed on the popular website.
“No one shared better cat pictures than the Son of God,” said Wilma Gephardt of Flint, Michigan. “He always knew how to cheer up my day with pictures of cats, or poodles dressed in cute sweaters for the winter.”
From Our Boise Bureau
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