Saturday, 13 January 2018

Hawaii, Rest Of America On Edge As Bullshit Detector Rings


Honolulu

The state of Hawaii and the rest of the country were on edge Saturday morning.

At approximately 7:45am Eastern Standard Time, millions of Americans received a push notification on their smartphones informing them that the 45th President was about to open his mouth and say something racist or xenophobic.

"I was at McDonald's with my two daughters this morning, and all of a sudden myself and everyone around me were receiving texts," said Gary Alowaha, 41, of Honolulu. "We had heard of the TBD (Trump Bullshit Detector) on the news before, but the text said that this wasn't a drill."

Worried that young children might be within earshot of the President's words, millions of Americans turned off their televisions and radios just to be safe and in order to prevent trauma.

The nation has been on edge since January of last year when Trump took office, but it turns out that Saturday's warning was a false alarm.

"Frankly, we're just relieved that the TBD is fully functional at this point. We anticipate having to use it in the coming days," said Pentagon spokesman John McCraney.

From Our Honolulu Bureau


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