Canada Set To Receive Over Two Million Refugees From Within Own Borders

Refugees seeking urgent assistance ahead of Céline Dion's planned performances in
Montreal & Quebec City

Quebec City, QC

Newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised during his campaign that he would welcome refugees to Canada. However, no one could have saw this coming.

On Sunday as Trudeau made the rounds at the G20 conference in Antalya, Turkey - his first foreign appearance - the 43 year old former teacher told his counterparts that under his leadership, Canada will accept over two million refugees by the end of July 2016. Trudeau had initially promised to welcome 25,000 refugees by the end of this year.

Speaking to reporters at a press conference, something that former Prime Minister Stephen Harper was loathe to do, Trudeau puzzled some by saying that all of the refugees would come not from Syria or Iraq, but from the province of Quebec.

Quebec native Céline Dion announced last week that she would perform five more concerts in her home province in addition to her previously scheduled Montreal and Quebec City dates, due to what her agent cited as "popular demand."

However, in an overnight poll conducted by The Sentinel Dispatch Journal Times Herald Tribune, 99.9% of the residents of the two historic cities revealed that they would sooner undergo the controversial and rather unpleasant experience of water-boarding before they would subject themselves to another concert by the 47 year old chanteuse.

Speaking from Turkey, Prime Minister Trudeau said, "While many Quebecers once tolerated Ms. Dion's performances, especially in her early days, once we had heard My Heart Will Go On ad nauseam, the overwhelming majority of us just couldn't do it anymore. Therefore, after consultation with my fellow MP's from Quebec as well as Minister of Immigration, Refugees, and Citizenship John McCallum, we feel we have the obligation to accept 2,166,625 (the entire populations of the cities of Montreal and Quebec City), into the rest of Canada. I have already been in consultation with our premiers and territorial leaders as to how we can implement the smooth evacuation of these cities for the duration of Ms. Dion's tour." Dion is set to perform July 31, August 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 12 and 13 at the Bell Centre in Montreal, and three at the Centre Videotron in Quebec City on August 20, 21, and 24.

According to sources, the most enthusiastic support for the idea has come from Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne and Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall, though Peter Taptuna, Premier of Nunavut, has voiced strong concerns that some Dion supporters may sift through his borders and seriously injure the large husky population in the territory by subjecting them to hits such as The Power of Love, It's All Coming Back To Me Now, & That's The Way It Is.

From Our Quebec City Bureau