In a stunning turn of events on Saturday evening, Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario officials named media personality Polkaroo as its next leader.
After leadership hopeful Christine Elliott refused to concede to apparent winner Doug Ford, Hartley Lefton, chair of the PC leadership election committee, told the packed convention centre in Markham, Ont. that the party could not afford to go without a leader any longer, and therefore was naming the star of TVO's Polka Dot Door to the position.
"We have been preparing for this scenario for some time now," said Lefton. "Ideally it would be left to party members to decide who the next leader would be, but unfortunately this dumpster fire of a party executive couldn't get the job done; therefore, we have taken this drastic action this evening."
Polkaroo, 47, made his debut on Canadian children's television in 1971.
"We needed someone that has high favourable numbers and can connect with Ontarians of all ages," said Shirley Johnson, a member of the election committee. Polkaroo is the strong, silent type who will get the job done and who will defeat Kathleen Wynne in the upcoming election."
As of press time, Polkaroo could not be reached for comment.
From Our Toronto Bureau
9 comments:
This is unbelievable. I happen to have known Polk-a-roo personally (back in the day) and I refuse to see a reality where Polk-a-roo would support the PC platform... let alone lead the charge.
This just in. Polk-a-roo has been accused of sexual misconduct. He will be exiting and re-entering the race!
Polk-a-roo has known ties to Rob Fords Dealer pre written cheques by Joe Fontana for non political CONTRIBUTIONS
Oh thank god. I heard it was Doug Ford and was concerned, but Mr. Roo seems much more qualified.
I do know Polkaroo personally and yes he would be a more favorable party leader.However he is a smart enough roo to jump from a disfunctional ship.....
What's not to like, Mr. Roo has a much better vocabulary than the Hash dealer
Wait! Does anyone know the current whereabout of Patrick Brown?? I smell a ruse...
Are we living in Black Mirror?
Well, it's unfortunately apparent Mr. Roo wasn't that positive a role model for the many Liberals who grew up to be such patently useful idiots and other unintelligently-elected officials; backroom financial ventriloquists will always lurk in the shadows but they need willing participants who will shamelessly pimp themselves to the highest leftwing Chicken Ranch voting blocs, eg. Education and SJW unions; ergo Dalton and Kathleen. Biblical famines lasted only seven years before the feasts took over; mysteriously, in Ontari-ari-ariO, this unprecedented curse has lasted for 15. Are we that evil that we are to be punished for more than twice as long as our ancestors? Premier "Doug" will remove the temptation to destroy us further, by exterminating the real evil that got us here: Ontario's most lubricated anal/oral sex advocate and joggingest fool, the imminent loser Wynne, accompanied by her bald-face lying predecessor, Dalton 'who signed the unsolicited contract that he didn't uphold anyway' McGuinty. The anti PCs have more than had their chance to govern and they made in their pants and everyone else's; those that have passed away in the last 15 years, those that are presently alive and those that are not only yet to be born, but for generations, to come. This is thanks to the deficits, the debts, the malfeasance and the dishonest opaque, as opposed to the promised transparent government policy; which has been not only anything but, but we have 24 deleted hard drives of confidential data to prove it and a convicted participant, David Livingston, going off to prison because of it. Whoever still believes in the Liberal Transmitted Disease and are incompetent enough to envision a scintilla of hope coming their way, Get Lost! You're ruined! It's over. Kaput! Max? 90 days.
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